Once, I was also the "imaginary enemy in the workplace" in the eyes of others.
Here's the thing: I was pulled into the program as a contributing writer on a major event newsletter, and as soon as I got in, a contributor (let's call it A) spoke to me in a weird way. Later I learned that because I had been praised by the leaders for a good draft before, and the previous draft of A was repeatedly uncorrected, she was afraid that after I officially participated in the project, the leader would be even more dissatisfied with her, so she turned on the cynicism mode to me.
In the workplace, there are many people like A who often feel "I'm being targeted". Of course, it is not ruled out that sometimes it is true, but more often it may be that you have fallen into some thinking traps.
The first kind of thinking trap is called "excessive brain supplementation", commonly known as "playing the upper body".
People who fall into this kind of thinking usually lack integrity when looking at work, and only focus on the one acre of land in front of them; at the same time, they also lack the ability to analyze problems rationally. Therefore, it is very easy to be blindfolded and misinterpret normal work arrangements as "for me".
This excessive brain supplement is also related to my country's long-standing "high-context culture". In a high-context culture, what the speaker really wants to express is often more than what he says, which requires the recipient of the information to understand more of the meaning behind the words. We have been taught since childhood to learn to "speak only three points" and learn to observe words and expressions. When we enter the workplace as adults, there are many subtle moments of "give a look to see for yourself". In this complex workplace culture with many fuzzy areas Many people are accustomed to thinking twice about everything, which makes it easier to overthink things.
The second kind of thinking trap is maliciously saving others with oneself.
Some people are fans of "Gongdou" themselves, so everyone thinks they have "ulterior motives". They do not advocate win-win cooperation, but advocate the law of the jungle, and believe that the workplace is a colosseum of life and death. Therefore, their eyes are, first of all, not staring at their own work, thinking about how to create value, but staring at others, always ready to secretly mess with people, and always wondering "that who is trying to harm me".
People who have this kind of thinking are like suffering from persecution paranoia, treating everyone around them as imaginary enemies. They cannot trust others, nor can they establish real cooperative relationships with others, and even if they achieve some results, it is difficult to gain a solid sense of accomplishment and long-term happiness.
The last kind of thinking trap can be called "glass heart".
People who fall into this mindset often confuse "criticizing things" with "evaluating people." For example, when a boss who is demanding about work results says to him, "I am not satisfied with the plan you made this time, there are problems here and there", he will automatically translate it as "I am not satisfied with you, you have problems", It feels like you're being targeted. In fact, the boss is so busy, there is no time to target the subordinates. In the fast-paced modern society, it is not uncommon for the boss to have no energy to take into account everyone's emotions.
To sum up, people in the workplace who have the above-mentioned misunderstandings, who have been immersed in thinking for a long time, will not only damage their physical and mental health, but also make others want to stay away from them, lose social benefits, and will be deceived and hinder the real life. progress and professional development.
Those who are really smart are thinking about how to make the team work together and create greater value together, instead of thinking about a colleague and engaging in unnecessary infighting and internal friction all day long. The company is an organization for the purpose of profitable development. Only powerful people and people who can create value will be truly respected.
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